I Only Come Out at Night
by Lillei
Summary: Contains slash. An angsty moment in Remus's life.


Short, angst-y one-shot. Only my second attempt at outright slash. Don't read if you don't like.  
  
** I Only Come Out at Night**  
  
"Remus, come out," James begged through the curtains  
  
"Already did, remember?" he muttered sarcastically, but it was too quiet for the others to hear.  
  
"Remus, really, we need to talk about this," Peter begged in his squeaky, whining voice.  
  
"Remus, it just came as a bit of a shock, that's all! We just want to talk to you!" Sirius said. Remus could see his hand attempting to force open the magically sealed shut bed curtains.  
  
"Don't force him, _Sirius_," James scolded. "Come on Remus, come out."  
  
"And we don't mean it in that way. Since you all ready have 'come out.'" Sirius said. It figured that Sirius, with his ever-present, slightly-goofy sarcasm, would think of the same pun that Remus did in his time of bitterness.  
  
"Let's just leave him alone for awhile, shall we?" James said, ever the compassionate one. "We'll be in the common room, all right Remus? Come get us when you're ready to talk, all right?" When he didn't answer, they left, their footsteps sounding heavy with their newfound logic as they tramped out.  
  
Remus sighed into the silence of the room, reliving a breath he didn't know he was holding. He could just imagine them down in the common room, discussing him in hushed whispers. Deciding how much they cared, deciding how much it bothered them. He wondered what they would do, if they would abandon him.  
  
Remus stared into the night for a long time. He heard the others come back in, but he didn't speak, and neither did they. Soon the room was filled with the sounds of deep breathing and whimpering and the shifting of sheets, but Remus lay still, staring blankly into the night, wondering if it was possible to go blind by staring at darkness for too long.  
  
He wouldn't have preferred for them to find out the way the had, just like he wished he had been brave enough to tell them he was a werewolf. He wished that he hadn't left the letter from Jason open on his bed, where he'd left it in his haste to get to class. It was hard enough finding someone in the school who was also gay. But then he had to feel the slightest attraction to them. And now he was breaking up with him because Remus was scared to broadcast their relationship!  
  
And to top all that off, when he had come back during free period he had found the others huddled over his letter, faces pale and shocked, looking extremely guilty.  
  
Where was that letter anyhow? He searched beneath himself and found the crumpled parchment, smeared now with fingerprints that weren't his and tears that were.  
  
It was then that he noticed he couldn't hear the normal deep breaths of Sirius.  
  
He paused in his brooding, listening closely. Yes, there was his shift in the bed, the way he grunted slightly as he did so, but he was certainly not asleep. And odd coincidence…  
  
He heard Sirius shift all the way out of bed and pad towards him. Instinctively, he pulled into himself, curling into a ball and burying his head in the pillow. It was then that he realized the sealing charm on his bed had most likely worn off and that Sirius would have easy access to him. As he thought this, he heard the curtains being pulled back smoothly.  
  
"I know you're awake," Sirius whispered, placing a hand on the lump of blankets that was Remus. "Please talk to me."  
  
It stung Remus, to hear how sincere Sirius sounded, how worried. Out of the three, Remus had always felt closest to Sirius. Which was sometimes bad for him, because Sirius and James were like brothers.  
  
Remus shifted in the bed and turned over, sitting up so fast that Sirius stumbled backwards slightly in shock.  
  
"Hi," he said hesitantly.  
  
"Hi," Remus answered.  
  
"I wanted to say that- that it doesn't change anything. I mean, you're still Remus. You're still a Marauder. You're still our brother."  
  
"But don't you all think I'm strange. Weird? Sick? Wrong?" Remus asked desperately, remember how disgusted he had been with himself when his homosexual feelings had first started showing up.  
  
"No," Sirius whispered. "We've actually…wondered. I mean- I have. We never talked about it or anything, but I thought that maybe…I don't have a problem with it…I mean…yeah…"  
  
Remus smiled and looked at him. Sirius didn't hesitate when he pulled him into his arms and gave him a brief, fierce hug.  
  
"You'll always be our Moony. No matter what happens."  
  
Remus smiled into the darkness, loving how Sirius hadn't been frightened to touch him after all.  
  
"But Remus," Sirius said after a silence. "Why didn't you just tell us? Don't you know by now that you can trust us, that we'll never abandon you?"  
  
Remus looked up sheepishly into Sirius's confused gray eyes.  
  
"I didn't want you to become….nervous around me. I'm not ever going to hit on you, I promise! But I thought you guys would become scared that I would…"  
  
"And why wouldn't you?" Sirius said, almost forcefully.  
  
Remus was surprised by his sudden change of demeanor. "Because you're strait, Pads. You're all strait."  
  
Sirius looked at him, his gray eyes suddenly darkened to black, his posture suddenly slumping.  
  
"Maybe I only come out at night," Sirius whispered. Remus sat quietly and looked away slightly. He understood now, how Jason must have felt, wanting Remus and him to go public.  
  
"Then I could still never love you."  
  
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Finished


End file.
